


Stevie & David & Patrick

by unkindravens



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Group Sex, Multi, Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 01:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unkindravens/pseuds/unkindravens
Summary: “Do you ever miss having sex with women?”David and Stevie help Patrick explore this question.





	Stevie & David & Patrick

**Author's Note:**

> Pardon any errors. (It's my birthday - so that's my excuse. This may also be a gift to myself.)

“Do you ever miss having sex with women?”

Patrick spurted beer from his mouth. “What?”

Stevie shrugged. “I’m just curious. You spent your entire adult life having sex with women. It’s a valid question.”

David put his hands on Patrick’s shoulders. “I think it’s safe to say he isn’t missing anything.”

It was Saturday night and the trio sat at a table at the Wobbly Elm. It was somewhat of a ritual for them. Stevie and Patrick tried to teach David how to play pool last week, until the chalk got dangerously close to his Off-White sweater.

Stevie rolled her eyes. “Yes, we’re both aware of your sexual prowess, David.”

“Um…” Patrick said. “I haven’t really thought about it. It was fine for the most part. I kinda liked some of it. But I wouldn’t say I miss it. I’m much happier now.”

“Why?” David asked. “Do  _ you _ miss having sex with women?”

“Not since college,” she answered.

David looked at Patrick. “You really haven’t thought about it?”

Patrick shrugged. “Not really. Like I said, I’m much happier now.” He kissed David.

“It’s okay if you do,” David said. “That’s only natural.”

“I think it’s been pretty well established that I’m gay,” Patrick laughed.

“Ugh,” David began, “sexuality is -”

“A spectrum,” they all said. 

“We know, David,” Stevie said. “That’s why I asked. It was an innocent question.”

“An innocent word has never come out of your mouth,” David said.

Stevie took a swig of her beer. “I’m not trying to imply anything.”

“I mean, if we want to know how Patrick feels about having sex with women we can test it out.”

“Are you proposing something?” Stevie asked.

“Are you offering?”

“Guys!” Patrick cut in. “Since this conversation is about me, can I be included in the discussion?”

They both looked at Patrick. “Is this a conversation you’d like to have?” David asked.

“I don’t know!” Patrick downed half his beer. “Like I said, I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Really?” David pressed.

“Well… maybe a little. Like Stevie said, it’s what I did pretty much my entire life.”

“But you don’t miss it,” David said, more like a question than a statement.

“What about the other part of the conversation?” Stevie asked. “Would you be interested in exploring that feeling?”

“Be thirstier,” David snapped.

“Maybe,” Patrick said quietly.

“Okay,” David said. “Then let’s do this.” He locked eyes with Stevie.

“Good.”

“We will,” David said.

“Fine by me,” Stevie said.

“Hey!” Patrick said. “Is it cool if I agree to this too, or do you two want some time alone?”

“Ew.” “No.”

“We don’t have to do this,” David said.

“I’ve never had… uh,” Patrick began.

“A devil’s three-way?” Stevie offered.

“Any three-way,” he muttered.

“Well, that’s just unacceptable,” David said. “Everyone should have at least one.”

Stevie hopped off her chair. “Then let’s get going.”

David stood. “We’ll shower, change, and meet at Patrick’s in an hour.”

“Shower?” Stevie said.

“You’ve been wearing the same flannel for three days,” David said. “I think it’s safe to say we could freshen up.”

“Fine. An hour.”

“An hour,” David said.

***

Stevie stood outside Patrick’s door. What the fuck has she gotten herself into? They were hanging at the bar and all of a sudden she’s about to fuck her best friend and his boyfriend? This was crazy.

Stevie smiled. She was gonna fuck her best friend and his boyfriend.

She knocked on the door and David answered, shoving a glass of whiskey in her hand. “Welcome.”

“Thanks.” She set her bag by the door and took off her shoes.

Patrick looked at her from the couch. No, he gave her an  _ up down _ from the couch. He looked much more confident than he had at the bar. Stevie had been wet thinking about this on the drive over, but Patrick’s eyes made her flow.

Stevie took a sip of the whiskey. The air was charged in a way she never felt before, not even when she and David were sleeping together.

Stevie sat on the couch next to Patrick and David and sat next to her. They were quiet, but a comfortable silence, as they finished their drinks and put down their glasses.

David touched her chin, moving it to face him, and kissed her. His hands ran through her hair as he brushed his tongue against her’s. She leaned into him and felt hands behind her run beneath her shirt. David pulled back and nodded.

Stevie turned to Patrick and he immediately pressed their mouths together. He sucked her tongue into his mouth and Stevie moaned. Patrick wrapped a hand around her head, keeping her close. He was rougher than Stevie ever imagined he would be, bruising her mouth.

Patrick tugged on her flannel and she swung a leg over, straddling Patrick’s lap. She felt him hard beneath her. He lifted his hips and suddenly Stevie was grinding against Patrick Brewer. David’s Patrick.

David managed to pull off Stevie’s flannel, leaving her in a black tee. He took Patrick’s face in his hands and turned it toward him. The two men kissed, lips moving together and apart, showing Stevie their tongues rolling against each other. She stopped watching long enough to pull her shirt over her head. She hadn’t bothered with a bra. She unbuttoned Patrick’s shirt as he and David made out.

Patrick abruptly lunged forward and crashed his mouth onto Stevie’s, pressing their bare chests together. His hands ran up her back. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw David stand and remove his sweater and jeans. He pulled Stevie away from Patrick and they both whined. David picked her up and stood her in front of him. He opened her jeans and slid them from her legs. She smiled when he looked at her. She was wearing a black lace thong she knew David had never seen before.

She turned to find Patrick standing next to her, also only in his underwear. They each wore black. David pulled her toward him and Patrick pressed behind her, trapping her between them. Patrick slid his hands to David’s waist and David reached over her to rub Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick kissed down the back of her neck. David tenderly planted kisses across her face. Her temples, her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids.

Stevie clung to David, unable to do anything about her drenched panties, wishing someone would touch her. Wished this wouldn’t end. They pulled apart and David hoisted her up, she wrapped her legs around him, and walked them to the bedroom. He tossed her to the middle of Patrick’s bed.

David and Patrick took off their briefs and kissed again. David’s hand gripped Patrick’s cock, evoking a gasp from the other man. David dropped to his knees and took all of Patrick in his mouth. Patrick arched his hips, grabbed David’s hair, and stared into Stevie’s eyes. She couldn't look away, touching herself through black lace.

“Isn’t his mouth amazing?” Patrick asked. Stevie nodded. “He’s so fucking good at eating cock. I bet he’s good at eating pussy too.”

Stevie shook at his words. She had no idea sweet Patrick could talk like this. She could only nod in agreement. She worked her hand quickly against herself and Patrick glanced down.

“Stop,” he said. “That’s for us.” Stevie took her hand away, entranced by the men in front of her. She would have done anything they asked.

Patrick pulled David up by his hair. “We’re just getting started,” he told him.

They glanced at each other and crawled up the bed. Patrick leaned over and kissed her, crushing her mouth. She felt David remove her underwear. He nudged Patrick.

“Wanna see something neat?” David asked. Patrick nodded. “She can come just by having her tits played with.”

Patrick grinned. “Is that right?” He looked down at Stevie. Fuck David for knowing this.

They lowered their mouths until each had a nipple in his mouth. “Oh, fuck,” Stevie grunted. She watched them suck her nipples. One would pull back, so Stevie could see him flick her nipple with his tongue, then take it back in his mouth and the other would do the same.

“Harder,” she rasped. She gripped both their heads, desperate to keep them on her breasts. Patrick bit her nipple and she jerked beneath him. “Harder,” she pleaded. “Bite me. Please… don’t stop… don’t stop…”

David and Patrick pinched her nipples with their teeth, then bit down.

“Fuck!” Stevie shouted. She her hands dropped to grasp the sheets as her pelvis jerked and quivered. “Oh my god.” They softly suckled her as she rode her orgasm.

They moved away from her chest. “That  _ was _ neat!” Patrick said. He and David leaned across her, kissing with those mouths that just made her come. She was desperate for someone, anyone, anything inside her.

David pushed Patrick on the bed and crawled over Stevie to lie on him. They ground their hips together; their slick dicks filling the air with obscene sounds and the aroma of sex. She lifted herself to her knees pressed her lips down David’s neck. Patrick ran a hand along her thigh. She couldn’t take the aching between her legs and moved behind them, rubbing herself against Patrick’s calf. The muscle and hair were rough against her and she dropped her head to David’s hip. The three of them moved like that, grinding in sync, for god knows how long.

David pulled them apart. “Patrick, when was the last time a woman had your dick in their mouth?” He shoved Stevie on her back.

“I don’t know, David. Couple years.” David guided Patrick forward to straddle Stevie’s chest and she immediately leaned forward to take his dick in her mouth. She situated herself on her elbows for more leverage and pulled him to the back of her throat.

“Shit,” Patrick hissed. “You didn’t tell me she was this good.”

“I know. Our girl’s full of surprises.”

Stevie felt her knees being stretched apart and immediately David’s mouth was against her. She moaned around Patrick’s dick, working it with her lips and tongue while David lapped at her pussy. He was better than she remembered. His tongue moved in broad strokes against her clit and she faltered around Patrick. She kept her head still and he slowly fucked her mouth. David rammed two fingers inside her and Stevie squeezed her eyes shut. It was impossible to concentrate on Patrick, so she dropped her head away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped. Patrick smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“That’s okay. Just as long as I get a turn.”

“What…” Stevie was so close when David took his mouth and fingers away. “Goddamnit.”

Patrick scrambled down the bed and she watched him thrust his tongue in David’s mouth. “She tastes so good,” he murmured.

He elbowed David out of the way and, folded Stevie’s legs, planted her feet on the bed, and pushed her knees apart. He dove into her pussy, sucking her lips into his mouth.

“Holy fuck.”

David slid beside her and rested his head against her’s. He rubbed a hand across her abdomen.

“Doesn’t he look so good like that?” David asked. “That beautiful face between your thighs?” She nodded and absently stroked David with her hand. Patrick glanced up at her before dragging his tongue across her clit. His tongue stayed there, swirling and flicking.

“Look at him go,” David whispered into her ear. Patrick slid his hands beneath Stevie, somehow burying his face further into her. “You know,” David continued, “before you got here, he was wondering what your pussy tastes like.” Stevie let go of his cock and moaned. “He was so excited to get his tongue in you, to get his face wet.”

“Jesus Christ,” she moaned. David clutched her hand, head still next to hers, watching Patrick.

“Come for us,” he whispered.

Stevie’s free hand gripped as much of Patrick’s hair as she could get and her orgasm ripped through her body and pulsed into Patrick’s mouth. He stayed with her, drinking her in.

Patrick scurried his way up to Stevie’s mouth and forced it open with his tongue. His mouth soaked and delicious.

“Let me get some of that,” David grabbed Patrick’s face and kissed him. They parted, lips glossy with her juices.

“She tastes amazing,” Patrick purred.

“Told you she would.”

Stevie melted into the bed, covering her face with her hands. “I appreciate it, but I’m gonna need a second, guys,” she muttered.

“Okay,” Patrick said, “but you have to watch.” 

She opened her eyes and they were both watching her while slowly stroking themselves. Patrick wordlessly angled across Stevie and slowly pulled David’s cock into his mouth. Stevie dropped a lazy hand on David’s leg as she watched Patrick moved fast along David, hollowing his cheeks.

“Enjoying the view?” David asked.

“Shit, yeah,” she breathed. She couldn’t take her eyes off Patrick’s face with David’s dick disappearing and reappearing between his lips. Patrick’s face was always so soft and so kind and now that face deep-throated his boyfriend. Same face that was just working her pussy. She squirmed against the bed. Fuck.

David suddenly pulled back, leaving Patrick to pout, mouth empty.

David beamed and reached behind him into the nightstand. “The moment of truth.” He tossed a condom at Patrick and looked down at Stevie. “You still okay with this?”

“Yes, god, just hurry up.” The men laughed and Patrick rolled the condom over his dick. He yanked Stevie’s legs so she as diagonal across the bed, giving them more room.

“David,” he said, eyes locked with Stevie’s, “can you hold our guest down for me?”

“Absolutely.” David grabbed Stevie’s wrists and pulled them over her head.

Patrick pulled her legs up to his shoulders and buried himself inside her. They both growled. Patrick was still for a moment as Stevie adjusted around him. He began to move and David leaned forward, covering Stevie’s forearms with his own to keep her in place. He nipped at her collarbone.

Patrick pumped in Stevie faster and she fought against David. “No,” he said, tightening his grip on her arms. “He said we couldn’t do that.” She bucked her hips against Patrick as much as she could. He filled her completely and slammed into her with no signs of slowing.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he told Stevie. “You feel so good. Fuck.”

Patrick snapped his hips and the world around her turned incredibly bright. She dug her nails into David’s elbows. Her hips lifted and froze as her muscles grabbed Patrick’s dick then pulsated around him. David pressed harder against her arms and bit her shoulder as she screamed.

“Come with her,” David commanded.

“Oh, fuck,” Patrick choked out and Stevie felt his dick jerk inside her. An aftershock rolled through her and clenched around his cock as it finished quivering. Patrick let go of her legs and collapsed on top of her. Stevie wrapped her legs and arms around him. She looked over at David. He was petting their heads and smiling.

Patrick pulled out and took off the condom, tied it, and flung it somewhere on the floor. He rolled off and spread out next to her. “What do we do about him?” Stevie asked, nodding toward David.

“Guess we should take care of him.”

“It’s only fair.”

They sat up and looked at David, Patrick resting his chin on Stevie’s shoulder. “Heads or tails?” he asked.

She snorted with laughter. “Tails.” She slapped David’s ass. “Get the lube.”

“Okay, I don’t remember putting Stevie in charge of anything,” he grumbled, crawling to the nightstand and grabbing the lube. Patrick was on his back, and Stevie situated David on his knees, straddling Patrick’s thighs.

Patrick reached up and patted David’s cheek. “Shut up, David.”

Stevie grinned, lubed up her fingers, and pressed two inside David. His first set of muscles were extremely tight, as if to keep her fingers there. There was no feeling in the world like it. She quickly found his already swollen prostate and swirled her fingers against it.

“Jesus fuck!” He fell forward on his hands. Patrick reached up and started jerking him off.

Stevie continued moving her fingers and added a third. Her middle finger was still working that spot, pressing more and more firmly. She leaned over and looked at Patrick. They smiled.

“David?”

David, who was thrusting against Stevie’s fingers, grunted.

“Would you like to come all over your boyfriend’s face now?”

He nodded. Patrick sped up on David’s dick and Stevie curled her fingers inside him, keeping a steady pressure.

David announced he was going to come and shot all over Patrick’s face. His breathing slowed with little high-pitched gasps. Patrick dropped his hands and Stevie slowly pulled out her fingers.

David collapsed next to Patrick. Stevie laid to the other side of Patrick and ran her tongue along his cheek, gathering David’s cum.

“How is it?” Patrick asked. He ran a finger across his other cheek to collect some and suck it from his finger.

“Every bit as good as I remember,” she whispered and lowered her head to kiss Patrick. She felt an arm slap against her side.

“I’m still here, you know,” David said.

Patrick looked at Stevie. “Oh, I totally forgot about that guy.”

“Same,” she said with a smile. She ran her finger through some cum that landed on Patrick’s chest, and slid it into David’s mouth. “Now you’re not left out.” Patrick kissed him as her finger slipped out.

After a quiet moment, Stevie jumped up. “Okay, gotta pee before I get a UTI.”

“Wow,” David said, “you’re such a lady.”

She walked backwards through the apartment to the bathroom, giving David the finger. “You said you wanted to fuck a woman, not a lady.”

While the guys were getting ready for bed, Stevie slid beneath the gloriously comfortable blanket.

“Okay, make yourself at home,” David muttered, crawling into bed beside her.

“It’s two in the morning,” Stevie said. “I’m not driving home.”

“Patrick,” she said with a bright smile, “may I please sleep over at  _ your _ apartment?”

“Of course, Stevie, you’re my guest.” He got into bed on her other side.

Stevie curled against Patrick’s back. David huffed behind her, but wrapped an arm around her and nuzzled his face in her hair.

“So, Patrick, what’s the verdict?” she asked. “You miss the ladies?”

“Not a lady.”

“Shut up, David,” she said.

“Not my preference,” Patrick said, “but not a bad treat. Every now and then.” He pulled Stevie’s arm around him and intertwined their fingers.

“Anytime, boys,” Stevie yawned. “Anytime.”


End file.
